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“Hey! Where the hell is my food!?” The shouting could be heard throughout the entire restaurant.

“Almost done! Just give me a minute!” I was trying to hurry up. Work is tough you know. “You son of a bitch.” I made sure to the end of that to myself so that none of my coworkers could hear.

Another day, another dollar as others would say. Sadly, the same can’t be said for me. Running around not knowing what I’m doing is so much fun! This is once again a new job I had to get to help provide my family with some help. Well, it looks like I’m probably a day or two away from being fired once again.

Finally done making the burger the best I could, I rushed it over to the counter to the customer. I could’ve sworn he was about to blowup from all the smoke escaping his ears. “Here you go si–” I was interrupted by the fact that my shoelace was caught under my opposite shoe.

Lifting my face off the counter, I rubbed my nose and looked up. If it wasn’t for the fact that this mess up probably meant crap was going to come my way, I might’ve laughed at the spectacle. The hamburger covered all his features. Don’t know if it was from the burger just being made or any of the condiments, but it just wouldn’t fall off. It seemed almost too perfect of a picture to ever happen. The only time you see this is on television.

To make a long story short, I was yelled at by the customer, by my boss, and then kicked to the curb. I sighed and rubbed my butt. I know that I was fired, but did he really need to kick me? Well, there goes another job out the window. How long did I have this one? A couple weeks? Somewhere along those lines. At least it’s a new record.

I took out my phone from my back pocket and wrote a note. ‘Fired around 14 days after starting. A new record. 16th job to be fired from. Next is…’ Nothing came to mind. Maybe I should check the Internet or something.

I treaded on home with my hands deep in my pockets. I wonder how my resume looks with having sixteen different jobs on it, all of which I got fired from.

Walking in the door, I was greeted by my father. “Howdy son. How was your day?”

I said, “It was great dad! I tripped and made a hamburger fly in a customer’s face and I got fired right after. So nothing new I guess. How was your day?”

He looked down at me worried. “Again?” He turned away and left me to stand there with my pitiful self. He never even spared me another word.

I lied in my room wondering about life. What in life? I don’t know. It’s hard to think about the future when it looks quite blank. No crossroads to choose from, just a narrow hallway that will lead to nothing. I drifted to sleep after exhausting myself from my thoughts. It’s not like any of them are false though.


Damn. I don’t want to get up right now. Well, another day to get my ass handed to me is all. I groggily open my eyes to have quite the scene in front of me. You could say the scene was breathing on my face. In my entire vision was my mom’s face and she was smiling up a storm.

A reeled back in panic now snapped awake before calming down. “Jesus mom. What’s wrong?” I was having trouble keeping that all together since my breathing was still a bit heavy.

Not noticing the uneasiness in my voice she says, “Just look at this!” She pulled out a piece of paper from where only god knows. “This is the problem to our problems!”

Not even questioning the problems she was talking about, I grabbed the slip of paper. Upon further inspection, I noticed it was a flyer that looked like it was taped to a pole. Before I could even read it, my eyes zeroed in on the massive bolded characters at the bottom. “$1,000,000,000? What type of lottery gives away that much money? Probably a scam or something.”

She was looking frustrated with me. “How about reading everything above it first? Maybe that will help a bit.”

“I was just about to do that.” I really was. I scanned the sheet and without a second thought, I crumpled it up and made my way over to the recycle bin.

My mom rushed over and sniped the ball of paper from my hands. “What are you doing!?” She uncrumpled the sheet and glared at me. “This is our chance to actually live happily!”

I pointed at the paper. “Do you honesty believe this? Do you really believe that this person will give a billion big ones to the person they marry? You have got to be kidding me.”

“But it’s the truth! This person is the prince of all of Remnant!” She brought out a magazine with the guy on it also from where god only knows.

I put my index and middle finger in the air. “And that brings me to my second point. I am straight! What makes you think I will go out with him? Also reading the flyer, it specifically says in bolded letters that SHE must be a WOMAN that will make him and HER happy for the rest of their lives.” I made sure to stretch the words that meant the most in the sentence.

She just threw that aside. “That isn’t a problem! I got a plan!”

I got nervous. “Before I hear what this farfetched plan is, can I ask one thing?”

“What?” “Do you believe this is for my good or the good for you and dad?”

She paused for a moment. “Of course it would be good for you! Do you think I don’t love you?”

Seems that way right now. “Fine, I’ll bite. What is your master plan here?”

“First you must take your meds. You know you can’t function properly without them.” She pulled out my medication from once again only god knows where.

I took them out of her hand and took a drink in my bathroom from the tap. “So, what is your plan?”

“Just wait a moment. It will all become clear.” She looked excited.

“What do you-agh!” I clutched my stomach as I stumbled over in pain. “Wh-what the hell…” I was barely able to talk anymore.

“Oh god! Here Gold, come and lie on your bed.” She slowly walked me over to my bed where I instantly collapsed.

I couldn’t even ask what I was feeling. All I know was that it was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I continued to groan in the pain that was consuming me.

As I lied there, the pain grew worse. I clutched my stomach while panting and started to shrink. I went from being five feet and eleven inches tall to being around five feet and four inches tall. All my skin from my feet all the way to my facials instantly became smooth and soft with all hair falling off and disappearing leaving me with only the hair on my head. As I continued to squeeze my waist, I stayed unaware as it caved in tremendously making me hug the sides even more. I cried out as my back cracked and took on a permanent arched form that stuck my butt and chest out a bit.

The pain continued, but most of it now targeted my face. I clawed at my face, but luckily my nail biting habit kept my nails nonexistent so I was spared from the scratches. As all this happened, I was unaware of the changes happening to my face. It started to shrink and reform to give it a more feminine structure. My skin that was already smooth and a bit soft became even softer making my fingers dig into it even more. My eyes grew in size making them look more innocent and the pupils changed color from brown to a literally shining reddish purple. Both my eyelashes and eyebrows changed, my eyelashes becoming longer and my eyebrows thinner, both helping compliment my new eyes. My nose shrunk to make it cuter as my lips plumped up to make them more kissable. My top of my head started to hurt. I grabbed it as I rolled from side to side to try and rid myself of the biggest headache I’ve ever had, but with no such luck. My hair suddenly decided to get up and take a run, a run that went from the top of my head all the way to my butt. It then turned smoother and softer as well as curling at the bottom for an extra touch. The last change consisted of the color going from brown to a brightly shining blonde color. From all the pain I was feeling, I never noticed a single thing happen, I never even wondered for a moment why there was the feeling of soft and smooth hair all over my arms. I started to cough extremely violently. I had that feeling that I was about to throw-up and started to dry heave. As that happened, my Adam’s apple started to shrink and form to give me a much higher pitched and feminine voice, but I failed to catch it with how I was constantly trying to let any of the nonexistent bile leave my body.

Even with how painful this has been, I was relieved when the pain in my throat stopped, but that was short lived when my shoulders started to hurt tremendously. I clutched them as they cracked multiple times. I failed to notice that with every crack, they shoved inwards making my overall frame smaller and giving me a more petite appearance. The pain moved onto my right arm and pulled it towards my chest. Already a bit smooth, it became even smoother losing any muscle or fat that I had there, but I still couldn’t notice the feeling of my arm feeling softer in my palm of my hand. After slimming out, my right hand became smoother as well while slimming down. My fingers shrank until they were thin and fragile and started to make a sickening crack sound from ever knuckle as they elongated. To finish off the hand, my nails grew longer and became shiny and well manicured with the small addition of clear nail polish to add to the sparkle that emanated from them. The same change commenced on my left arm and hand now and I went form clutching my right arm with my left hand and flipped to my clutching my left arm with my right hand. The changes continued with the same way as they did before with the small addition of my new nails digging into my arm causing me to bleed a bit. When that change was done, I’ve yet to notice any of the changes, but where I was bleeding just moments ago had now fully healed. Probably part of the transformation being placed.

My changes passed a couple areas and started at both my legs at the same time. The pain decided to join the changes for the ride. I held my legs to my chest and curled up into a ball. At this point, there were tears going down my smoother and softer cheeks. My legs started to become even smoother and softer as any fat or muscle that was there faded away into nothing. My legs started to curve a bit making them more defined as they also lengthened, but only by about an inch barely making up for any of my lost height. My feet started to shrink while also becoming softer. My toes elongated a bit and also became more fragile as did my hands did. My toenails grew, but not as much as my fingers so that they wouldn’t get in the way of me wearing any heals.

The changes moved upwards to my special area, but interestingly, the pain didn’t. It all happened so fast that I never noticed my gender flip into that of a woman. It happened at the speed of a heartbeat. For that single moment, I felt no pain, nothing at all to be honest. It was that small moment that was needed for all my insides to change to a female reproductive system. Sadly, with how fast the changes were, was also the time that it took for my pain to resurface.

My thighs burned hotter than the blazing sun. I thought for a second that I was actually burning to a crisp right now, but what was happening were the next changes. My thighs added some fat to them, but the good type of fat. They grew until they shaped up to be quite smooth and soft finishing my legs completely. My hips cracked violently as they grew outwards giving me childbearing proportions that would be helpful with my new reproductive organs. To help compliment my new hips, my butt changed next. It added some fat to it making it a tiny bit bigger and softer and also raising my bottom off the bed, but not by much.

With all that done, the changes ran up to my chest for their final service. The pain tagged along as well. I once again wrapped my arms around my slimmer waist as the pain grew exponentially. Two bumps on my chest appeared and grew with every breath, and with each breath, the pain rose. After a whole minute of the rising pain, my chest had fully grown to a solid C-cup size making me barely above the average.

Finally, the pain started to fade, and for good this time as well. I was still panting loud and heavily, but now I finally started to notice something was wrong. “Why…is my…voice…so high?” Reaching up for my neck, I noticed that something was all over my arms. Picking it up, I asked, “Whose hair is this?” I yanked it only to have a surge of pain on my head. “Wh-what happened to my hair?” My voice was starting to shake, but stayed quiet. Catching a glimpse of my arm, I grabbed it and noticed that my other hand and arm looked the same. “Wh-why are m-my hands and arms like this?” I was scared to look down, but my curiosity was too strong. I was speechless to say the least.

I jumped off the bed and sprinted past my mom who was still idly sitting in her seat. In front of the mirror in the washroom, I slowly touched my face. “Wh-wh-wh-WHY AM I A GIRL!?”

In came my mom. “Oh my god! You look so adorable! I just knew it would work!”

I quickly got right up in her face. “MOM. WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?”

Even with how up and personal I was with the addition of blinding rage, she still continued to give her award-winning smile. “I just replaced your pills with the pills that I found online that guaranteed to switch your gender to how you would’ve looked if you were born differently.”

“First of all, that makes zero sense. Why would my counterpart have different colored hair and eyes? You know, that doesn’t matter. WHY THE HELL DID YOU TURN ME INTO A GIRL!?” I was flailing my arms in her face.

She grabbed out some water. “Before you keep yelling at me, at least take a sip of water to calm down a bit.”

“How is water supposed to calm me down in this type of situation?” I was quite thirsty though. Probably from all the havoc my body went though back there. “Screw it. Give me some of it.”

She happily obliged. “Here you go. I already opened the cap for you earlier.”

“Thanks.” I took the bottle and chugged the whole thing down in one go. I wiped some of the droplets off my face. “That hit the spot. Now back to what we were talking about…what were we talking about?”

She laughed. “How could you forget Gold? We were going to go shopping to get you some new clothes for the fresh new you.”

“Oh yeah. I almost forgot.” Something seemed off here. Wasn’t I just extremely mad at my mom for transforming me into a girl? And why did I just so casually go along with what she said about shopping? Whatever, I’m going to let the rest of this day play out.

One hour later…

We were walking around the mall looking for some new clothes. I was so bored. Why am I doing this again? I didn’t have the time to find myself girl clothes. I should be using this time to find a way to turn back into a guy. “Hey mom. This is all a waste of time. I need to find a way to go back to my normal way of life.”

She looked at me in horror. “Why would you want to do that? This is perfect! I’ve always wanted to go shopping with my daughter.”

I looked at her with sorrow evident in my eyes. “You don’t even have a daughter.”

She laughed. “Sure I do! You’re my daughter of course! Go get a drink of water at the fountain over there. Maybe that will help you think straight.”

I nodded. I was once again quite thirsty, but never really noticed until my mom said so. While taking a drink, I couldn’t help but love every ounce of it. The water here taste extremely good. When I was done, I walked back over to her and said, “Your right! I do feel better. Thanks mother. Now where were we…oh yeah! I saw this pair of heels back there. Can we go see them?”

She smiled at my desperation. “Sure! Lets go check them out.”

I giggled. I always love going shopping with mother. She is the kindest person in the whole world. Wait one sec…what happened? Why do I feel excited right now to go and but some heels? And when have I ever called mom mother in a more formal tone? For some reason, this is starting to feel both right and wrong at the same time. Weird.

After buying me my new heels we continued to walk around, but much slower now since I kept on staggering. “Maybe you should go and get another drink Gold. You look quite tired.”

How is it that she always notices before I ever do? I guess that goes to show how much a mother knows their daughter. Daughter? Am I not their son? This is getting confusing.  Really do need a drink of water. “Thanks mother. I will go and excuse myself for a few moments.”

I hesitantly walked over to the fountain and took a few silent sips. I never even got any water on my face so I did not need to wipe it off. As I walked back to my mom, I could not help but notice how much of an easier time I was having while walking in heels. I always thought it was extremely challenging. I guess it only takes a few minutes to get fully adjusted.

“Mother, I could not help but check out the white leggings in the window over there. If by any chance you are fine with it, could we perhaps check it out?” Who would not have noticed them? The fabric was surely well crafted and something that would definitely fit my body. Yep, nothing seems wrong about that.

“Why of course Gold. Let’s go check them out!” She grabbed me and pulled me over to the store. Luckily, I am already used to the new footwear so I didn’t tumble over on the way.

I came out of the change room and tried to pose. “How do I look?”

She clapped loudly. “You look great Gold! They match you so well!”

“Thanks mother. I am happy that you think so.” I do not know why, but this all is feeling less wrong and more right.

After my mom paid, we left the store, but my head was starting to hurt. Am I not a guy? Why am I starting to change my thoughts? Why?

My mom looked over at me worried. “Are you okay Gold? Maybe you should go get a drink of water. That should help.”

“Thanks mother. You always know what’s best for me.” I walked over to the fountain and took a drink of water. I closed my eyes as I put some of my hair behind my ear in reflex.

When I was done, I turned around to see a guy behind me. He looked good, but not to my standards. It would seem that I was to his standards though. “Hey there. You want to go grab a bite or something. It’s on me.”

He seemed polite enough, but not my type of guy. “Sorry, but I need to be getting back to some business of mine.”

He looked a bit down, but said, “That’s alright. Have a nice day.” He waved and left.

I walked back to my mother to tell her what happened. “Another guy tried to get a date with me once again. When will they learn that I have my heart set on one person and solely that person?”

She smiled. “Well, you are such a cute girl Cinia. Of course all the guys would fall for you. You know, you remind me of how life was for me in my day.” She trailed off to her memories.

“Please do not start with the stories again about how you were the princess of the school and how all the guys asked you out all the time.”

“Fine. Have it your way.” She turned her head and pouted about something. I could barely make out her saying something about ‘water working’ but I could not put it into any context that would make sense to me.

Today was fun at least. Ever since I was a child, I loved going to the mall to buy new shoes and skirts with my mother. Always wanting what is best in my interest. I can remember just yesterday when I laid my eyes on him and instantly fell in love. And now is my chance to make my wish of marrying him come true!

My mom pointed at a red dress behind a window. “That is the one Cinia! That will be the outfit to help win his heart! I just know it!” I could not help but agree with her. It looked simply breath taking.

I nodded and we went in. It took a while to get it on, but two of the workers there dressed up in maid looking outfits helped fit me into it. One of them said, “You look divine in it! It suits you so great that it’s scary!”

  Cinia Pacifica And New Maid Sword Girls Drawn By by TGvocals

The other girl added on, “She’s right! Are you trying to impress someone? A boy perhaps?”

I replied, “Yes I am. I am going to try today and win the person of my dream’s heart.”

They both talked briefly about the joys of youth. One of them asked, “So, who’s the lucky fellow? What does he look like?”

I blushed and giggled. “You would not believe me when I say who it is. But he is the prince of Remnant.”


THE END!
Finally done with this one! Took me a while. This one is my first mind change not including my first story. This is also solely based of the picture and not the specific girl. All I used of her was the name and picture and thats it. This like I said was the first real mind change so it was challenging, but I managed to prevail! That also wraps up my first batch of commissions! Woo hoo! Now onto the second batch! I hope you all like it!

This is a commission for :icongoldwyn11:. I hope you like it! Also, happy birthday! It actually was a coincidence that my motivation rose on your special day. I alsp added a bonus  of the ultra extended transformation. I hope you love it!
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:icondragonemperor999:
Critique by DragonEmperor999 DragonEmperor999/critique/1442832753">Nov 15, 2016, 7:20:18 PM
A very enjoyable story to read! I love the twisted princess feel it gives. However, I did get a bit confused at the beginning with some rocky storytelling (missing sentences, make it flow a little better). Some grammar, in the beginning, was also making me scratch my head. A note on the water bottle, and try to make the change in tone from the guy to girl personalities more evident. Besides those, it was a good piece keep up the good work. Your work has always had a good pace and idea behind it. I wanted to keep this critique as short and as sweet as possible, but let me know if you want to try and collaborate something in the future so this kind of work can continue.

-May your drill pierce the heavens (Gurren Lagann)

DragonEmperor999
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.
DragonEmperor999/critique/1442832753#comments">2 Replies

:iconmsflurker:
Critique by msflurker msflurker/critique/1454121824">Dec 8, 2016, 1:51:43 AM
The use of the cold open helps to establish the character in those beginning lines. The switch to the self-narration works because it has the similar theme. The voice established gives every situation an impact from the hamburger to the acceptance of the change. It helps usher along the story making the reader intrigued with what is to happen next so the reader wants to read more until the change comes.
The change in the middle is very nicely detailed. I found myself closing my eyes repeatedly to visualize every aspect of the transformation.
After the change, with the mental changes is a double edged sword. It’s very nicely done. The details in the situation and the change provide a reason. However, it comes at the cost of the voice starting to weaken and thus the reason I read the first part goes away.
The actual scene in the image taking place at the end does tie it well and provide the drive, but it leaves me yearning for whether the prince actually accepts the offer or not. Either option would have provided extensive opportunity to write some emotional scenes, but it just ends there. Given all the detail given at the beginning, during the change and the shopping scene, the lack of a proper resolution leaves me frustrated.
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:iconparanoido:
paranoido Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Great job, I love this sort of TF and this sort of mind change, whatever others may say.
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Thank you!
Reply
:icongoldwyn11:
goldwyn11 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Great job jory :D

This was a fun story, with lots of detail added to it ^^

I did notice you sneaking in a RWBY ref or two :3
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
The RWBY reference was me just having to much trouble thinking of a good world name with a kingdom so I got lazy.
Reply
:icongoldwyn11:
goldwyn11 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
No worries, thank you for the story ^^
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Your welcome!
Reply
:icondeadmasterdubstep:
DeadMasterDubstep Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016
So water made Gold forget his old life slowly, interesting indeed. 
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:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Yep!
Reply
:iconblarghblarghblergle:
blarghblarghblergle Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016
What an awful excuse for a mother.
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016
I thought of it as a way to help him in the long run so the mother wasn't extremely bad since Cinia was happier.
Reply
:iconzoey-palmer:
ZOEY-PALMER Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016
Despite that, you do realize that identity death is one of those subjects that are downright fridge horror no matter how you put it? It's like everything you ever were, replaced by something completely foreign that shouldn't exist. To an extent, "you" just died. Secondly, you end up with the issue of how this ends up becoming author fiat.
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
I understand what you mean, but the commissioner really REALLY wanted mind change.
Reply
:iconzoey-palmer:
ZOEY-PALMER Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
I see. Well, you seem to have done quite a good job this time!
Reply
:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Thank you! What was wrong last time?
Reply
:iconzoey-palmer:
ZOEY-PALMER Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
Nothing, really. This commission was decently written, as are all of your other works, although the use of what appeared to be basically author fiat "magically" wiping somebody's mind (in effect killing them and replacing them with somebody completely different) and replacing it with somebody else seemed a tad forced. Apart from that great work!
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:icontgvocals:
TGvocals Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
I have no idea how to make the mind changes not j
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:icongoldwyn11:
goldwyn11 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
If you're going to get that technical, everyone dies repeatedly during their lifetime. Every single cell in your body gets replaced every 7 years, and I would very much love to see how long it takes you to facepalm if you were talking to three year old you about your thoughts and opinions on matters :P
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:iconzoey-palmer:
ZOEY-PALMER Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
You know, perhaps that is why such continuity is valued. Despite the non-permanence of the exact particles within us, the way we humans work effectively makes us a continuous person, doesn't it? For that matter, the primal fear of being replaced just might be why we find identity death so scary, as the subject seems to imply the destruction of everything you are. Also, why the three-year-old comment?
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:icongoldwyn11:
goldwyn11 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
The three year old comment was to emphasize that pretty much every thought you've ever had has changed over time, the same as your body. There is nothing continuous about a person physically or mentally. You can make the soul argument, but that wouldn't be affected by what set you off on this. And though you say "we find identity so scary.." etc, not everyone agrees with you on this, it's just your personal opinion, no different than mine for liking it ^^
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:iconzoey-palmer:
ZOEY-PALMER Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
Indeed, but my contention is precisely the fact that because nothing physical is permanent in you, all that defines "you" is the mind, thus making the loss of identity in effect murder, and ultimately recieves a similar response from me.
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:icongoldwyn11:
goldwyn11 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2016
That'd be the whole point of the three year old comparison, in that nothing in your mind is permanent either.
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(1 Reply)
:iconmegamanmaster64:
MegamanMaster64 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice job.
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